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Please put more jokes here

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    Here's one for those of you with cryptorchidism:


    What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?




    She choked.
    I'm perfect, in a very specific and limited way.
    Hands... out infractions
    Face... the music
    Space... between the ears

    Comment


      This bloke phones up his boss and says he can't come in to work today because he's sick.


      The boss says "how sick are you"


      He replies "well, I'm in bed with my sister right now"
      I'm perfect, in a very specific and limited way.
      Hands... out infractions
      Face... the music
      Space... between the ears

      Comment


        Originally posted by SimonMac View Post
        There is a lesbian version of Ikea, no screwing invovled, just tongue and groove
        Thought this deserves a posting here too
        Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
        I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

        I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

        Comment


          BREAKING NEWS:

          A werewolf has apparently mated with the Loch Ness Monster.

          Please spread the word to raise a Were Ness.
          The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

          Comment


            Two psychics meet in the street.
            "You're very well, how am I?"
            The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

            Comment


              Originally posted by LondonManc View Post
              Two psychics meet in the street.
              "You're very well, how am I?"
              Is that where they were. I went to their shop to book a session but a note on the door said they were closed due to foreseen circumstances.
              'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!

              Comment


                Originally posted by northernladuk View Post
                Is that where they were. I went to their shop to book a session but a note on the door said they were closed due to foreseen circumstances.
                The little one had taken advance bookings and did one with the money.
                Police were looking for a small medium at large.
                The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

                Comment


                  I met a Welsh woman in a pub the other night.
                  She started by slagging the English off, it was going well.
                  So I had to reply, "In my experience, there are two types of Welsh women - stunning beauties and rugby players. Which club did you represent?"
                  The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

                  Comment


                    quote but it amused me.

                    “Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OSes is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders.”
                    (Alanna)
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      “Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free.”
                      (Linus Torvalds)
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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