Please put more jokes here

[WTFH]

I think I just had one of those scam emails. It read:


"Have you had to walk 500 miles? Were you advised to walk 500 more? If so, you could be entitled to compensation. Call The Pro Claimers now.

[WTFH]

The Wife (tm) asked me for something silky for her birthday.


No doubt this tin of emulsion will be the wrong colour.

[ccole]

Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.

[ccole]

Dry erase boards are remarkable.

[ccole]

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a well known six offender.

[LondonManc]

A Frenchman, an Irishman and a Jew walked into a bar. What a lovely example of our multicultural society.

[BrilloPad]

What do you call it when a cat requests food when the bowl is 50% full?

Fake mews.

[shaunbhoy]

MURDERERS. Disguise your crime as suicide by simply placing a Leonard Cohen CD next to your victim’s body.

[shaunbhoy]

Been having real problems with nuisance phone calls lately.
Most common one seems to be
"You said you'd be home from the pub 3 hours ago!"

[shaunbhoy]

A man was killed today after jumping on his nemesis from the top of a tower block. He was pronounced dead on a rival.