It's ironic that the people who go on about fat acceptance demand you don't call them fat.
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Please put more jokes here
Collapse
X
Collapse
-
-
one for d000hg.
I walked into the library and asked if they had a book on short dicks.The librarian said "I don't think it's in yet" I said "yes that's the one"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
When I heard there was a cure for dyslexia that was music to my arseAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
I've just had my mood ring stolen. I'm not sure how I feel about that.The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't existComment
-
Comment
-
I went into the library and asked to borrow a book on suicide techniques.
The librarian said, "no chance, you won't bring it back!"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't existComment
-
I drew my lightning bolt too small on my face and now all the bullies in this David Bowie club are calling me Harry Potter.“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
-
Just popping out to LIDL, or 50-1-500-50 as the Romans called it.“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
-
-
Originally posted by vetran View PostI went to the library and asked if they had the book about tiny penises...
The librarian said, "I don't think it's in yet."
I said, "Yes, that's the one."Originally posted by vetran View PostI walked into the library and asked if they had a book on short dicks.The librarian said "I don't think it's in yet" I said "yes that's the one"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. But Gandhi never had to deal with HMRCComment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Government finally publishes umbrella company regulation plans Today 08:30
- 56,000 contractor payslips just got forensically audited. Here's how umbrella companies performed Today 08:11
- Starling's Business Toolkit: Banking and bookkeeping in one place Yesterday 12:40
- Is networking as an IT contractor important, and how to network successfully? Yesterday 08:33
- Ads on Facebook stating 'get your money from the taxman' get banned, after misleading contractors Jun 5 23:36
- Six tips for contractors with work-life balance syncing issues Jun 5 08:29
- Contractor business coach backs at least five new LinkedIn hacks Jun 5 08:19
- Six tips for contractors with work-life balance syncing issues Jun 5 07:29
- Capita's flimsy, unacceptable response to getting hacked won't calm contractor nerves Jun 2 08:20
- Contractors, UKRI's GBP36million in IR35 mistakes will make your private sector clients balk Jun 1 08:23
Comment