Please put more jokes here

[xoggoth]

9. The Joy of Anal Sex with Male Sheep & Oiled-Up Lady Boys

Until I realised it always gave an answer 9 I was really worried for a moment, wondering how arithmetic could gauge my preferences so accurately.

[vetran]

Slept like a log last night.

I was so drunk I woke up in the fireplace this morning.

[vetran]

one for the bremainers & Indyrefusers

What do you you call someone who riots at the outcome of a democratic process?

A Democrat.

[vetran]

One for MF

I've just had a medical. The nurse told me that I'm the right height & weight for somebody carrying a piano

[vetran]

In the past, U.S.A. has had for president.....
Bush senior, Bush junior and now Bush groper.

[vetran]

Plan B?

Just decided i am going to open my own buisness
It will specialise in women to men sex changes
It will be called
Gash Converters

[vetran]

Back in 2008 a lot of racists claimed that electing a black President would be the start of a slippery slope for America.

And it turns out they were right.

Fast forward eight years, and they've got a ******* Oompaloompa.

[vetran]

For RR

If I buy my wife a big diamond ring she will let me insert vegetables in her anus

I know what your thinking!

How many carats?

[vetran]

using this one!

My wife asked for something silky for her birthday tomorrow......










Picked up 5 litres of emulsion for her.

[vetran]

My doctor asked me if I knew my sperm count.

I told him I had no idea the little buggers were that smart.