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Please put more jokes here

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    #4471
    My girlfriend asked me to start treating her like the women from the classic black and white movies.

    So I left her tied to the train tracks.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment

      #4472
      "Honey," said the wife, "I've just checked your browser history and seen that you go on porn sites. That has to stop!"

      "Ah, shut up," I said, "you sound like my ex-wife."

      "What? I didn't know you'd already been married. I thought I was your first wife."

      "You are."
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment

        #4473
        I used to spend all day doing nothing but running through fields and meadows.

        Finally, I was forced to admit that I had a gamboling problem
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment

          #4474
          What's the difference between George Best and Princess Diana's chauffeur?

          Best could take corners when he was pissed.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment

            #4475
            Cheer up Hillary Clinton.

            Nelson Mandela wasn't elected president , until after serving 27 years in prison .
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment

              #4476
              I ate some Korean meatballs last night .

              They were the dogs bollocks.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment

                #4477
                What's the difference between Cinderella and Princess Diana?

                At midnight Cinderella's car didn't turn into a wall.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment

                  #4478
                  Originally posted by vetran View Post
                  What's the difference between Cinderella and Princess Diana?

                  At midnight Cinderella's car didn't turn into a wall.
                  How 90s!
                  Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
                  I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

                  I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

                  Comment

                    #4479
                    Words can't describe your beauty, but numbers can

                    3/10
                    Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
                    I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

                    I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

                    Comment

                      #4480
                      Originally posted by SimonMac View Post
                      Words can't describe your beauty, but numbers can

                      3/10
                      You've got a higher opinion than I had on 14/04/16, I only gave her 2/10
                      {emotionless greeting}

                      Three Word Slogan

                      Comment

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