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My girlfriend asked me to start treating her like the women from the classic black and white movies.
So I left her tied to the train tracks.
"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
"Honey," said the wife, "I've just checked your browser history and seen that you go on porn sites. That has to stop!"
"Ah, shut up," I said, "you sound like my ex-wife."
"What? I didn't know you'd already been married. I thought I was your first wife."
"You are."
"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
I used to spend all day doing nothing but running through fields and meadows.
Finally, I was forced to admit that I had a gamboling problem
"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
What's the difference between George Best and Princess Diana's chauffeur?
Best could take corners when he was pissed.
"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
Nelson Mandela wasn't elected president , until after serving 27 years in prison .
"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
What's the difference between Cinderella and Princess Diana?
At midnight Cinderella's car didn't turn into a wall.
"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
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