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Please put more jokes here

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    I'll never date a mime again, they're just too quiet in bed.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      When you see deaf couples holding hands, it may be a romantic moment, or perhaps they?re trying to shut each other up for a bit.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        I was born with a rare condition ,, I only had one bum cheek .
        Anyway i recently had an operation to correct the problem. I can't thank the surgeons enough. They made a complete arse of it.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          The wife said it's not working between us and she's leaving me.
          I said "Why what have I done".
          "Well for starters you're always telling stupid jokes and puns".
          "And for the main course"?
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Jimmy Choo used to be called Matt Choo but changed it because he was sick of everyone saying "bless you" whenever he introduced himself
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              "My wife keeps mistaking me for Alice in Wonderland characters."


              "Are you mad at her?"


              "Oh no, not you too".
              {emotionless greeting}

              Three Word Slogan

              Comment


                My bear's diarrhoea problems are starting to worry me.




                The vet says he's getting better but he's not out of the woods yet.
                {emotionless greeting}

                Three Word Slogan

                Comment


                  Originally posted by vetran View Post
                  I'll never date a mime again, they're just too quiet in bed.
                  Oh, but the skillful hands!
                  Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

                  Comment


                    Originally posted by vetran View Post
                    Jimmy Choo used to be called Matt Choo but changed it because he was sick of everyone saying "pitchu?" whenever he introduced himself
                    An alternative...
                    I did a stroll around Windsor on 2 Oct for Alzheimer's Society. You can chuck me a few quid here if you like: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/lmallen-1

                    Comment


                      Today someone told me I am average.



                      I told them that’s just mean.
                      {emotionless greeting}

                      Three Word Slogan

                      Comment

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