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    Just cancelled my gym membership because the only piece of equipment I use has been taken away.




    Anyone know where I can buy a cheap vending machine?
    {emotionless greeting}

    Three Word Slogan

    Comment


      “I bought a sheep dog.”


      “Old English?”



      “Ic gebóhtede sċēap docgaan.”
      {emotionless greeting}

      Three Word Slogan

      Comment


        “How much to hire a church singing group?”

        “You mean a choir?”

        “Fine, how much to acquire a church singing group?”
        {emotionless greeting}

        Three Word Slogan

        Comment


          Bought a slow cooker..
          It took me 2 hours to get it out of the box..
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Know religion, no peace.

            No religion, know peace.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Warty's lady friend said he was the only one she'd slept with. All the others have been 8's or 9's.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                Originally posted by WTFH View Post
                I couldn't undo the buttons on my jumper so tried pulling it over my head but got it stuck.



                I’m now sitting in A&E waiting to see a cardyologist.
                KUATB

                You copied me then posted it twice. Not a bad attempt!

                https://forums.contractoruk.com/sear...yologist%22%7D
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Tragic news from the Nestle factory today as a worker was crushed to death under hundreds of boxes of chocolates.
                  He tried in vain to get help but every time he shouted, "The milky bars are on me" his fellow workmates just cheered...
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Quite frankly autocorrect, I'm getting a bit tired of your shirt
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      What do you give a lemon when it gets hurt?

                      Lemon Aid
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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