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Please put more jokes here

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    wait for it...

    I was sat on the edge of the bed pulling my boxers off



    and my wife said, "you spoil those dogs"
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      I'm not saying Liverpools a tuliphole but there's a guy down the market there selling fake Primark gear.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        Originally posted by vetran View Post
        I was sat on the edge of the bed pulling my boxers off



        and my wife said, "you spoil those dogs"


        KUATB:
        http://forums.contractoruk.com/light...ml#post2156311
        {emotionless greeting}

        Three Word Slogan

        Comment


          Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Originally posted by vetran View Post
            I like my women like I like my computer.

            Turned on .
            On my lap.
            Virus free.
            I like my women like I like my whisky.

            18 years old and full of coke.
            The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

            Comment


              Do we need to post links to all the jokes you have stolen!
              Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
              I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

              I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

              Comment


                My girlfriend said that I should use the term 'make love' instead of 'f**k.'

                What the make love is she talking about?
                Last edited by vetran; 3 November 2016, 12:04.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  A clown opened the door for me today.

                  It was a nice jester.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    It's Anti-Bullying week next week.

                    You better support it, or else.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Missing MF?

                      I was on a flight today when the stewardess spilt salt over the passenger in front of me.

                      He must have been one of those seasoned travelers.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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