Please put more jokes here

[LondonManc]

I was walking down the street when I saw four Liverpool fans playing football with a kitten. I was about to phone the RSPCA but the kitten dribbled past two of them and scored.

[vetran]

It was easy money playing poker with a bunch of origami enthusiasts.

They just kept folding.

[vetran]

What is the smallest organ in a goat?

An Isis member's dick

[vetran]

I want to leave this world like I came into it.

In a 19 year old pussy.

[vetran]

My patient asked nervously, "Have you ever circumcised an adult befo-?"

"Nope," I replied, cutting him off short.

[vetran]

I got my Valium and Viagra mixed up though other day,

I fell asleep whilst trying to Tup the missus

[LondonManc]

A Rabbi was asked to leave his position due to the onset of Parkinson's Disease.
When I say "asked to leave", he got the sack.

[vetran]

An image of Jesus appeared in a tub of margarine in my fridge,
so I went and showed it to by Buddhist neighbor.





He looked at it and said, "I can't believe it's not Buddha."

[vetran]

One for Brillo

Pumping away furiously and desperate to unload I whispered to my wife, "Tell me when I've made you come."

"Twice in 1997 and once in 2006." she replied.

[vetran]

too true

If you lose your wife when shopping , don't spend ages looking for her , just stare at a young bird with big tits and she will magically appear beside you staring at you .