Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

nice & subtle like them!

I did think of Igor from Terry Pratchett on the ithberg one.

[teapot418]

Well if that's the case, I'll give you a while for this one:


The two hot lesbians who live next door got me a Rolex and an Omega for Christmas. I don't think they quite understood my request.

Saw them on fb yesterday.

[teapot418]

Teapot joke

Bill was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife, Mary, to the hardware store.
At the hardware store, Mary saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Carl, the manager, to finish waiting on a customer. When Carl was finished, Mary asked how much the teapot was. Carl replied, "That's silver and it costs £100!". "My goodness, that is a lot of money!" Mary exclaimed. Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that Bill had sent her to buy, and Carl went to the back room to find it.
From the back room Carl yelled, "Mary, you want a screw for that hinge?"
Mary replied, "No, but I will for the teapot."

[LondonManc]

Spent some time at the wife's grave earlier...

Bless her, she thinks I'm digging a pond.

[WTFH]

So, Daniel Laurence, Helen Wood and Jeremy Clarkson walk into a bar and the barman says "Hello Jeremy"

[WTFH]

Arguing with idiots on an Internet forum is like playing chess with a pigeon.


No matter how good you are, the bird is going to tulip on the board and strut around like it won anyway.

[WTFH]

I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their moustache and suddenly she isn't your friend anymore.

[WTFH]

You know that urge to eat something just because it's there?




...That's why I'm not a gynaecologist.

[WTFH]

I crossed the road, walked into a bar and changed a light bulb.




That's when I realised my life was a joke.

[WTFH]

The Wife (tm) says all the punchlines to my jokes are crap.








Crap.