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Please put more jokes here

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    nice & subtle like them!

    I did think of Igor from Terry Pratchett on the ithberg one.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

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      Originally posted by WTFH View Post
      Well if that's the case, I'll give you a while for this one:


      The two hot lesbians who live next door got me a Rolex and an Omega for Christmas. I don't think they quite understood my request.
      Saw them on fb yesterday.

      Comment


        Teapot joke

        Bill was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife, Mary, to the hardware store.
        At the hardware store, Mary saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Carl, the manager, to finish waiting on a customer. When Carl was finished, Mary asked how much the teapot was. Carl replied, "That's silver and it costs £100!". "My goodness, that is a lot of money!" Mary exclaimed. Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that Bill had sent her to buy, and Carl went to the back room to find it.
        From the back room Carl yelled, "Mary, you want a screw for that hinge?"
        Mary replied, "No, but I will for the teapot."

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          Spent some time at the wife's grave earlier...

          Bless her, she thinks I'm digging a pond.
          The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

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            So, Daniel Laurence, Helen Wood and Jeremy Clarkson walk into a bar and the barman says "Hello Jeremy"
            {emotionless greeting}

            Three Word Slogan

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              Arguing with idiots on an Internet forum is like playing chess with a pigeon.


              No matter how good you are, the bird is going to tulip on the board and strut around like it won anyway.
              {emotionless greeting}

              Three Word Slogan

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                I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their moustache and suddenly she isn't your friend anymore.
                {emotionless greeting}

                Three Word Slogan

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                  You know that urge to eat something just because it's there?




                  ...That's why I'm not a gynaecologist.
                  {emotionless greeting}

                  Three Word Slogan

                  Comment


                    I crossed the road, walked into a bar and changed a light bulb.




                    That's when I realised my life was a joke.
                    {emotionless greeting}

                    Three Word Slogan

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                      The Wife (tm) says all the punchlines to my jokes are crap.








                      Crap.
                      {emotionless greeting}

                      Three Word Slogan

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