NAT was telling me the other day "I'm not sure what the best thing is about living in Switzerland, but the flag is a big plus"
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…Maybe we ain’t that young anymore -
A photon checked in at the airport and was asked if he had any luggage. He replied "No, I'm travelling light"…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
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What do you call a room full of dead people?
An Oscar Pistorius surprise birthday party.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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For NLUK
After last year's Valentines meal out, my missus refuses to go out with me this year.
All because last year she came down all dressed up to the nines and said "Well what do you think?"
I said "You look just like a movie star, Darling"
She said "Oh, how sweet, who?"
"******* ET!" I repliedAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've got Tourettes
F*** off you ****
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Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm schizophrenic
And so am I.The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't existComment
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I went to Welsh Toby Carvery yesterday and I ordered the lamb roast.
Within the first bite I found a used condomAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Just had my Valentine's day card off Moonpig.
She hates it when I call her that.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I'm no expert the stock market but I do understand around Valentine's Day the price of flowers and chocolates must go up so that knickers and stockings can come down.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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for
I find red wine improves sex with my wife.
Especially after six bottles.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I asked my North Korean penfriend what life was like growing up in Pyongyang.
He said, "can't complain."The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't existComment
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