I was walking down the street when I saw four Liverpool fans playing football with a kitten. I was about to phone the RSPCA but the kitten dribbled past two of them and scored.
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The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist -
It was easy money playing poker with a bunch of origami enthusiasts.
They just kept folding.Comment
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What is the smallest organ in a goat?
An Isis member's dickComment
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I want to leave this world like I came into it.
In a 19 year old pussy.Comment
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My patient asked nervously, "Have you ever circumcised an adult befo-?"
"Nope," I replied, cutting him off short.Comment
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I got my Valium and Viagra mixed up though other day,
I fell asleep whilst trying to Tup the missusComment
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A Rabbi was asked to leave his position due to the onset of Parkinson's Disease.
When I say "asked to leave", he got the sack.The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't existComment
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An image of Jesus appeared in a tub of margarine in my fridge,
so I went and showed it to by Buddhist neighbor.
He looked at it and said, "I can't believe it's not Buddha."Comment
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One for Brillo
Pumping away furiously and desperate to unload I whispered to my wife, "Tell me when I've made you come."
"Twice in 1997 and once in 2006." she replied.Comment
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too true
If you lose your wife when shopping , don't spend ages looking for her , just stare at a young bird with big tits and she will magically appear beside you staring at you .Comment
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