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Please put more jokes here

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    A man hobbles into the doctor and the doctor asks the problem.
    "Well," he says, "I got raped by an elephant," and proceeds to expose the 8-inch gap where his rectum used to be.
    "Good heavens," says the doctor. "This is most peculiar. From my understanding, this shouldn't happen. While two-foot long, the elephant's penis is only 3 inches wide."
    "I know," sighed the patient, "but he fingered me first."
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

    Comment


      You think you are unique until you have to choose a " user name. "
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row now.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            The 21st century: Deleting history is often more important than making it.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              If Hillary had used talktalk's email servers, she'd be President now.
              The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

              Comment


                Yesterday I was watching a movie and I said.

                "Oh no, who killed the dead was the policeman."

                Comment


                  I’ve no home, I haven’t got control, I can’t see any escape. Way past the time I got a new keyboard.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Do you know why women aren’t allowed in space?
                    -
                    To avoid scenarios like: "Houston, we have a problem!"
                    -
                    "What is the problem?"
                    -
                    "Yeah, great, pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about!"
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      For our Divorcees

                      A wife is like a hand grenade. Remove the ring and say good bye to your house.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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