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Please put more jokes here

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    Best day of my life was when I walked down the aisle towards my wife, everyone was smiling.
    I gave her a kiss, and then shut the ******* coffin.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      I just bought a thesaurus from Waterstones and came home to find that all the pages inside were blank.
      I have no words to describe how disappointed I am.
      {emotionless greeting}

      Three Word Slogan

      Comment


        I just paid $25 for a hot 20-year-old chick to rub her boobs all over me.
        I love having my hair cut.


        Ah reminds me of my Youth and the lovely Sarah, Blonde Beautiful & big Titted she cut my hair well also.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          One for NAT

          Do you know why some people explain the punch line of a joke using open and closed brackets?

          Because they're imbeciles. (stupid people)
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            My wife said, "How come you never take me to the theatre? You know I love the theatre."

            I said, "How come you never take me to the strip club?"
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Thought I was a good lover in bed


              Till I found out she had asthma
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                Career advice?

                My mate has been working in a mirror factory for years.













                He said its what he always seen himself doing.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Yep

                  I like my women like I like my computer.

                  Turned on .
                  On my lap.
                  Virus free.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Another one for Brillo

                    Husband takes the wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large – break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works.


                    The wife turns to her husband and says: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."

                    Husband says: "Looks like he’s still celebrating!!"
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      America is having a general election. The main concern is about the number of illegal immigrants there are.

                      Government sources suggest around 11,000,000.

                      Native American sources say it's more like 300 million of the Bstewards.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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