Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

Best day of my life was when I walked down the aisle towards my wife, everyone was smiling.
I gave her a kiss, and then shut the ******* coffin.

[WTFH]

I just bought a thesaurus from Waterstones and came home to find that all the pages inside were blank.
I have no words to describe how disappointed I am.

[vetran]

I just paid $25 for a hot 20-year-old chick to rub her boobs all over me.
I love having my hair cut.


Ah reminds me of my Youth and the lovely Sarah, Blonde Beautiful & big Titted she cut my hair well also.

[vetran]

One for NAT

Do you know why some people explain the punch line of a joke using open and closed brackets?

Because they're imbeciles. (stupid people)

[vetran]

My wife said, "How come you never take me to the theatre? You know I love the theatre."

I said, "How come you never take me to the strip club?"

[vetran]

Thought I was a good lover in bed


Till I found out she had asthma

[vetran]

Career advice?

My mate has been working in a mirror factory for years.













He said its what he always seen himself doing.

[vetran]

Yep

I like my women like I like my computer.

Turned on .
On my lap.
Virus free.

[vetran]

Another one for Brillo

Husband takes the wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large – break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works.


The wife turns to her husband and says: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."

Husband says: "Looks like he’s still celebrating!!"

[vetran]

America is having a general election. The main concern is about the number of illegal immigrants there are.

Government sources suggest around 11,000,000.

Native American sources say it's more like 300 million of the Bstewards.