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Please put more jokes here

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    Just be glad this heat wave's not happening in winter. Can you imagine shovelling snow in this heat?
    Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

    Comment


      hmm

      You know you're in a tulip hotel when you phone the front desk and say, "I've got a leak in my sink." and they reply, "Go ahead."
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

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        I'm not saying it's hot but I just saw Prince Andrew buy an antiperspirant.
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

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          I'm not saying it's hot. But, I've just squirted the contents of a, McDonald's apple pie over my head to cool down...
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

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            As the weather is so hot I asked the Hermes delivery driver if he'd like a bottle of cold water. When he said yes I dropkicked it over a fence into my neighbour's rose bush and told him I'd left it in a designated safe space.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

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              I'm not saying it's hot in my living room,
              But two Hobbits just walked in and threw a ring into it
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction.


                So I packed up my stuff and right.
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  Congratulations to everybody who survived the 48 hour Great Melt.

                  So that's climate change done, what's next?
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    Former Formula One boss Bernie Ecclestone will face charges of fraud after an investigation by UK tax authorities that allegedly found undeclared assets worth more than £400m overseas.

                    I reckon they just misunderstood when he told them he was a bit short.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      sadly true

                      I got asked who I would prefer as PM, Sunak or Truss. "

                      It's a bit like asking me if I preferred Harold Shipman as my doctor, or Jimmy Saville as my babysitter, " I replied.
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

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