• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    My son begged me to buy him a Theremin.

    But then he never even touched it.
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      There was a young man from Poole, Who found a red ring on his tool, So he went to the clinic,

      But the doctor, a cynic, Said, use WD40, it's lipstick, you fool.
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        Phew. Independence Day over and no alien invasion to deal with. I was worried - Will Smith is always involved and is clearly Earth's primary defender. He knocked one of the invaders out with one punch back in the 90's, but his lame Chris Rock bitch slap shows Earth's is now vulnerable to attack.
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          Nothing makes a 4th of July more independent than shooting off fireworks that are made in China.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            My dad used to have a job at a helium balloon factory until they let him go.
            …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

            Comment


              What's blue and not very heavy?



              Light blue.
              …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

              Comment


                What Blue and tastes like Red paint?





                Blue paint.
                …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

                Comment


                  I only believe in 12.5% of the Bible.



                  I guess that makes me an eighth-theist.
                  …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

                  Comment


                    Narcissistic men more likely to suffer from premature ejaculation, study finds.

                    Yeah, no matter what, they always come first.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      I actually hope aliens don't exist.

                      If there is life on other planets the government would only start giving them our money.
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X