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    For the Wail deniers

    A market researcher came to my door today and asked, "Do you buy any of the following newspapers; The Sun, The Daily Mail or The Daily Express?"

    I replied, "No, I don't."

    She said, "What would make you more likely to consider buying these titles?"

    I replied, "If the price of Andrex went up."
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      Up the Sky Fairies

      Why is a pint of Guinness like a priest?
      Well they both have white collars, black vestments and God help your arse if you get a bad one!
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        I just found out my best friend Sid has been the victim of id theft.
        i now just call him ''S''
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          I had my first cage fight yesterday....
          ******* budgie didn't know what hit it.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            you need a stiff one

            Found a box of Viagra last night. Bloody things didn't work.
            Turns out their past their swell by date.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              One for Brillo & Zeity

              People always mock Manchester United for having legions of fans who live nowhere near Manchester, but I think it happens at most clubs. For example, I know a Derby County supporter and you'd be amazed at the number of Welshmen who tell him they absolutely love getting behind the Rams.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                The Donald

                Wouldn't it be funny if Donald Trump gave a press interview and someone pulled a gun out just to hear his bodyguard shout, "Donald Duck."
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  X

                  I already know the winner of the X factor.
                  Me... for not watching that tulipe !
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Hilary

                    I was doing my washing yesterday when the owner walked in and sacked the manageress. When she asked why, he told her he was giving her job to Hillary Clinton because "She's got more dirty laundry than you".
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      For Scooter

                      Not saying my luck sucks or anything, but today I found out I've caught VD from my hand.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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