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Please put more jokes here

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    For the Wail deniers

    A market researcher came to my door today and asked, "Do you buy any of the following newspapers; The Sun, The Daily Mail or The Daily Express?"

    I replied, "No, I don't."

    She said, "What would make you more likely to consider buying these titles?"

    I replied, "If the price of Andrex went up."
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      Up the Sky Fairies

      Why is a pint of Guinness like a priest?
      Well they both have white collars, black vestments and God help your arse if you get a bad one!
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        I just found out my best friend Sid has been the victim of id theft.
        i now just call him ''S''
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          I had my first cage fight yesterday....
          ******* budgie didn't know what hit it.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            you need a stiff one

            Found a box of Viagra last night. Bloody things didn't work.
            Turns out their past their swell by date.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              One for Brillo & Zeity

              People always mock Manchester United for having legions of fans who live nowhere near Manchester, but I think it happens at most clubs. For example, I know a Derby County supporter and you'd be amazed at the number of Welshmen who tell him they absolutely love getting behind the Rams.
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                The Donald

                Wouldn't it be funny if Donald Trump gave a press interview and someone pulled a gun out just to hear his bodyguard shout, "Donald Duck."
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  X

                  I already know the winner of the X factor.
                  Me... for not watching that tulipe !
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    Hilary

                    I was doing my washing yesterday when the owner walked in and sacked the manageress. When she asked why, he told her he was giving her job to Hillary Clinton because "She's got more dirty laundry than you".
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      For Scooter

                      Not saying my luck sucks or anything, but today I found out I've caught VD from my hand.
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

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