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Please put more jokes here

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    I'm managing a disabled tribute act to 'Steps'.

    They have changed the name to 'Ramps'
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      What do you call a chicken with lettuce in its eyes?

      Chicken sees a salad
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        I got in touch with my inner self today.

        That's the last time I buy Tesco Value toilet roll.
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          I invited my Muslim neighbours round to sit in the garden for a BBQ.

          Half way through, I informed the husband that his wife had been unfaithful to him with lots of men.

          She hadn't but I needed the rockery moving.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

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            I liked it when Katie Hopkins decided to prove a point by getting fat.

            There was just so much more of her to hate.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Just because I shagged her sister, my wife went to Cash Converters with my Gold Rolex.

              The police say it's my problem - seems you've got to be female for them to take revenge Pawn seriously!.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                Originally posted by TheFaQQer View Post
                What do you call a chicken with lettuce in its eyes?

                Chicken sees a salad
                Coat?

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                  Animal rights groups would be up in arms if they knew what KFC really stood for, Killing F***ing Chickens
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    For Norrahe

                    My book on how to have sex with herbs has finally been published.

                    It was about f**king thyme.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      for suity

                      Typography experts say That Times New Roman is a bad font to use when typing up a CV for job applications.

                      As I know from experience, Dingbats is worse.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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