Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

Give a woman a fish and she would cook you dinner.

Give her a fish the next day, she would again cook you dinner.

Give the same woman a laptop and an internet connection, she would start a Feminist blog.

[vetran]

Cortana - when I use the word "Pharmacy", remind me that in Britain we use the word "Chemist"

[vetran]

Before the national debt spirals completely out of control, can someone please teach Kate Middleton how to give a blowjob.

[vetran]

Remember when everyone had diaries got pissed off when someone read them?

Now they put everything on Facebook and get pissed off when they don't.

[vetran]

I convinced my wife to work for the CIA.

So she wouldn't be allowed to tell me about her day.

[mudskipper]

Woman 1: "Has your guy been circumcised?"
Woman 2: "No. He's a complete dick."

[mudskipper]

Woman1: "Do you ever talk to your man during sex?"

Woman2: "Only if he phones me."

[mudskipper]

Why are married women heavier than single women?

When single women come home they go to see what's in the fridge then go to bed. A married woman comes home, see what's in bed then go to the fridge.

[mudskipper]

Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?

To stop the snoring before it starts.

[vetran]

Why are married women heavier than single women?

When single women come home they go to see what's in the fridge then go to bed. A married woman comes home, see what's in bed then go to the fridge.

is that why Mrs V is on a permanant diet