Theres only 2 things certain in life, death and taxes. Unless you're john macafee, then theres only death.
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Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. -
Panto
"Hi, what's your name?"
"Helen. You?"
"No, I'm Tom."Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Panto
A Spanish greengrocer is 1.74 meters tall, has a waist circumference of 105 centimeters, and wears a size of 44. What does he weigh?
VegetablesAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I took the wife out to eat.
"You always pray before dinner when we're at home."
"Here, the chef knows how to cook "Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Did you hear about the newlywed couple that didn’t know the difference between KY lube and silicone caulk?
Their windows fell out.
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Bumper Sticker on a senior's car:
I'm speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I'm going.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Once saw a man digging up cats eyes in the middle of the road, I said to him what are you doing?
He replied " im digging up these diamonds"
I told him they were glass
He snapped at me saying "no! This is a jewel carriageway!"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Genie: I shall grant you 3 wishes
Me: I wish for a world without lawyers
Genie: Done, you have no more wishes
Me: But you said 3
Genie: Sue me.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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The pulley is the most egotistical of all the machines.
It’s always at the centre of a tension.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Male bees die after mating. That's basically their life:
Honey. Nut. Cheerio.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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