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Please put more jokes here

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    Athlete Dina Asher-Smith has called for more research into the effect of women's periods on performance.

    I think the research has already been done and concluded that anything that happens during a woman's menstrual cycle is her ******* husband's fault!
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

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      My grandfather used to say, "Love is the bond that cements everything together. " Lovey fellow, tulip bricklayer.
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

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        I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn't get pasta
        …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

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          Originally posted by WTFH View Post
          I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn't get pasta
          I thought the joke at number 4 was funnier.
          Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

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            I wanted to convert my van so I could live in it. So I painted in pink and now it's a little camper.
            Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

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              Last night I ate three tins of alphabet spaghetti this morning I dashed to the toilet and had a huge vowel movement
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

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                my mother never believed me when I said could build a car out of spaghetti. Well you should have seen her face when I drove pasta
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  I didn't get the pasta joke at first - and then the penne dropped..
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    I’ve finally got a date for my colonoscopy, although she'd probably rather just go to Cineworld.
                    …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

                    Comment


                      A bloke was sitting at the side of the road crying his eyes out, his dead hamster in his hands.
                      A fairy godmother asked him what the matter was.
                      He said “I loved my pet hamster and it just died ”.
                      The fairy godmother said “Well I can’t bring it back to life, but I can suggest that you can make some good of the situation”.
                      The bloke asked “How do I do that ?”
                      The fairy godmother replied “Go home put the hamster in a pan and add a bag of sugar. Heat the pan up stirring well and simmer for an hour. Allow to cool, pour it onto your garden and see what happens”.
                      The bloke did exactly as she suggested.
                      The next day, he went into the garden and there were masses of daffodils everywhere! He ran back to the road where he’d seen the fairy godmother and she reappeared and asked the bloke how he’d got on. He said “It’s fantastic, there are daffodils everywhere!”
                      The fairy godmother replied “That’s really strange, you normally get tulips from hamster jam!”
                      …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

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