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    I met a flasher once in a park about to do his business,....

    he told me that he wanted to retire from flashing , he said that he was just going to stick it out for a few more months.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      My neighbour has been flashing me from her bedroom window.

      I don't know how she got the car up there.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        I'm pretty sure my Wife is seeing another man....

        I won't start celebrating until I'm certain!
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          Boris Johnson apologies unreservedly for the Ballymurphy massacre....

          ..that happened when he was 7.

          Hopefully he is just getting warmed up for all the other tulip he is actually responsible for.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Arrived home today and saw my wife was packing.

            Honestly... I don't even think she's got a gun licence.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              I just killed a massive spider crawling across the floor with my shoe.

              I don't care how big a spider is, no-one steals my shoe!!
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC -

                The Pessimist;
                I got furloughed then lost my job, the price of toilet rolls and hand sanitiser went through the roof, I couldn't go to Marbella, I couldn't get a Big Mac, the cinema and Wetherspoons were shut, Xmas was tulip and my Nan died.

                The Optimist;
                Everyone had such nice clean hands!
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Everybody is beautiful in their own way. It just takes a lot of alcohol to see it in some.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Today a man knocked on my door and asked a small donation for the local swimming pool.

                    I gave him a glass of water.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Ariana Grande...
                      A coffee from Starbucks that Millennials drink?

                      Miley Cyrus...
                      A Persian distance?

                      Justin Beaver...
                      A moment of Beastiality?

                      Taylor Swift...
                      A quick cloth cutter?

                      Lady Gaga...
                      A time of the month when a woman is extra crazy?

                      Kanye West...
                      A compass direction to spicy pepper?

                      Kardashian...
                      A Russian breed of speedy dog?

                      Katy Perry...
                      A wine for cats?
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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