• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    only joking!

    How do you get a Moderators job here?


    Get turned down by Burger King and McDonalds
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      ‘China is using anal swabs to test the public for Coronavirus’


      I guess they took it literally when someone told them to shove their test up their arse!
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        I was just browsing on the RSPB website, and someone put the question on there; "Why can't I get birds to eat my fat balls?"



        I thought, "Hmmm, it's not just me then!"
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          After 12 months of Lockdown I've finally resisted and let my gay flatmate sleep with me.... he's cock a hoop...
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Bob Dylan and Tom Jones have released a double A sided single to raise funds for Covid victims in Wales it's

            " knocking on Evans Door" and " Die, Die Die Delilah"
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              ‘Katie Price says son Harvey is going to be a Network Rail train announcer after impressing fans with his rail know-how’


              I bet he’s used to a lot of comings and goings at home.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                I beat a black belt at karate.


                My next challenger is a green sock.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  I've been listening to music by the Artic Monkeys, The Strokes and Coldplay but it's given me stomach pain.


                  Think I might have Indie gestion.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    All these people moaning about covid restrictions...


                    They need to get out more
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Worst thing about Covid for me, was finding out that my beard is ginger
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X