"I hear you split up with your wife.""I did. Would you stay with someone who sat about in their bra and pants all day, drinking Gin and watching Loose Woman?""I sure wouldn't.""Well, neither would she."
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Large crystal ball for sale. Only £50, but you will haggle me down and buy it for £35.Comment
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I want to start a messaging app called Noise. Deliberately aimed at conversation groups not being used for what they were set up for.
Our KPI would be the Signal to Noise ratio.Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!Comment
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Virgin Media have launched their new 5G network.
Its called 5G Spot.
I can't bloody find it anywhere.Comment
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I went to pay for the work that the garage had done on my car today, the cashier asked, "Would you like to cover your parts?"
I said, "No thank you!"
She said, "You'll have to wait outside then, you're scaring the customers."Comment
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My neighbour had a female domestic worker in his home. I hadn't seen her in a while, so naturally I inquired...
"How's your housemaid?" I asked.
He thought for a second, then said, "With bricks and cement, like most others."Comment
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Do you have RC Cola?
No but we have some arrogant Pepsi.Comment
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A man was stopped by the Police at around 2am
The Officer asked him where he was going at that time of the night
The man replied - " I'm on my way to the a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body as well as smoking and staying out late"
The Officer then asked - really? Whos giving that lecture at this time of night?
The man replied " That would be my Wife!Comment
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I'm not worried about taking Viagra.
I mean, how hard can it be?Comment
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My wife who is furloughed from teaching, got the sack as a volunteer at the Covid testing facility.
Force of habit made her give children the result she thought they would get, without testing them.Comment
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