Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

One of the saddest moments in my life was being left at the altar.




Worst baptism ever.....

[vetran]

Donald Trump.


There egos.

[vetran]

I always punish my liver on weekends.


Mercy is for the week.

[vetran]

My new girlfriend is in the Taser division of the Metropolitan Police force,



she's a real stunner.

[vetran]

From Maga to Gaga

[vetran]

Trump dies and gets to limbo where God and Satan are kicking the hell out of each other,


"What's going on with the boys, why are they fighting? " Asked Trump.


"It's you, " said the soul collector, "neither of them want you. "

[vetran]

I've raised thousands for Charity.


She's my favourite stripper.

[vetran]

You have to feel for the victims of the recent floods in the UK


For months they haven't been able to go out of their homes and now they can't go in them either.

[vetran]

My neighbour just banged on the wall at 4.20am, can you believe that? Lucky I was still up playing music.
He banged and shouted, "can we have a little respect please?"
So I shouted back, "I am not a big Aretha franklin fan but this ones for you".

[vetran]

For Zeity - my new favourite insult.

My mate just told me I look Shatnered.


I said don't you mean 'shattered'?


He said no I mean you look red-faced and fat and really old.