Coronavirus has strained many marriages but I’m blessed to be with a loving wife. Just the other morning when I woke up she was holding a pillow over my face to protect me from Covid 19.
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Please put more jokes here
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Just had the following conversation with my wife.
Wife: Can’t believe how much weight I’ve gained since lockdown.
Me: You haven’t gained that much weight. Come on… chin up. No, the other one.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Just broken up with my girlfriend due to religious differences… She failed to worship me.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Things that can drive my wife crazy during lockdown:
-Not saying sorry
-Saying sorry and not meaning it
-Saying sorry
-Not saying anything
-Saying anything
-Breathing!!Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Grab your taco, you’ve pulled a dyslexic Mexican.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Discovered yesterday I have liftophobia, fear of lifts. I’m taking steps to avoid them.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Originally posted by vetran View PostDiscovered yesterday I have liftophobia, fear of lifts. I’m taking steps to avoid them.Comment
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Originally posted by vetran View PostFat lives matter as well you know. Please open the Goddamn buffet!
Originally posted by ladymuck View PostI tried to see if there was a "proper" name for this. Elevatorphobia is not a suitable alternative, in my eyes. I'm sure someone with a passing knowing of ancient Greek could help out.
Or perhaps
ardynophobia- fear of being lifted high.
esasirophobia - fear of being lifted off the earthDown with racism. Long live miscegenation!Comment
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If it weren't for the Arabs, we would never have 9/11
Instead it would be IX / XIAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Boris Johnson's new rules on gatherings has had little affect on the good folk of Norfolk
If three men want to bring their wives, mother and a sister each to a party, that's still only six peopleAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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