Originally posted by WTFH
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Please put more jokes here
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"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
I want to see the hand of history on his collar. -
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Knock knock…
Who’s there?
Grandad.
...QUICK, STOP THE CREMATION!{emotionless greeting}
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My wife laughed when I said I still had the body of an 18 year old.
Until she checked the freezer.{emotionless greeting}
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A weasel walks into a bar.
The Bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never served a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.{emotionless greeting}
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By previously legalising same-sex marriage and now Marijuana, Canada have finally interpreted the bible correctly:
Leviticus 20:13 “If a man lies with another man he should be stoned.”{emotionless greeting}
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Some guy just said he was going to attack me with the neck of a guitar.
I said “Is that a fret?”{emotionless greeting}
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I’ll never forget my Grandfather’s last words.
“Stop shaking the ladder you little git.”{emotionless greeting}
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I got a lift to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said “Have a good day, son.”
“Don’t call me son,” I said. “You’re not my dad.”
He scratched his head. “No, but I brought you up, didn’t I?”{emotionless greeting}
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My Granddad just walked into my room with a young guy wearing skinny jeans and eating avocado toast.
I asked, “Who’s this?”
My Granddad said, “He’s my hip replacement.”{emotionless greeting}
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