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Please put more jokes here

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    My grief counsellor died the other day…
    But he was so good I didn’t care
    {emotionless greeting}

    Three Word Slogan

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      A couple of Midlands newspapers recently serialised Dickens’ A Tale Of Two Cities.
      It was the Bicester Times and the Worcester Times.
      {emotionless greeting}

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        Describe yourself in 3 words:

        Lazy
        {emotionless greeting}

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          <Please enter password>

          SNOWFLAKE

          <Re-enter password>

          SNOWFLAKE

          <Error: Passwords must be identical>
          {emotionless greeting}

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            I got checked out by a cute guy yesterday.


            The total came to £18.63

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              I had to stop using black humour when I was accused of racism.
              Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

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                I'm in pain.
                Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

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                  I taught my dog to play the trumpet on the Tube.


                  It only took us an hour to get from Barking to Tooting.
                  {emotionless greeting}

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                    A warning to you all.

                    Be careful about drink driving this Christmas - police are out there in numbers doing spot checks on people.

                    Last night I went out for a few drinks. One beer led to another, then a few G&Ts and a nightcap seemed like a good idea.

                    I knew I'd had too much, so decided to leave my car and took the bus home.

                    Sure enough, I passed a police unit where they were pulling drivers over and breathalysing them, but being on a bus I was just waved past.

                    I arrived home safely and without incident, which is quite a surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I can't remember where I got it from.

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                      Who's the coolest person in the hospital?

                      The ultra sound guy.

                      Who covers for him when he's on holiday?

                      The hip replacement guy.
                      I'm not fat, I'm just fluffy.

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