Two firemen are having sex in a burning building. The Fire Chief runs in and shouts, 'What do you think you're doing?' One fireman sobs, 'Chief, he's dying of smoke inhalation.' The Chief says, ' Then give him mouth to mouth resuscitation, for God's sake!' The fireman replies, 'How do you think this all got started?'
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Please put more jokes here
Collapse
X
Collapse
-
-
What do you give donkeys for lunch?
Half an hour, the same as the camels.…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
-
Comment
-
Comment
-
That would make countdown a bit easier as well.Originally posted by mudskipper View PostThe days start getting shorter from now on.
So tomorrow will be Saturda.'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!
Comment
-
How many Countdown contestants does it take to change a BULLBIGHT?Originally posted by northernladuk View PostThat would make countdown a bit easier as well.Comment
-
Originally posted by mudskipper View PostHow many Countdown contestants does it take to change a BULLBIGHT?
2 top ones and 4 from anywhere else.…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
-
A mate of mine had just been hospitalised after taking an 'E'. The security on Countdown don't mess about.Originally posted by mudskipper View PostHow many Countdown contestants does it take to change a BULLBIGHT?'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!
Comment
-
A mate of mine on Facebook was commenting that he really didn't like The Cure.
I replied that I find The Prevention far better
Then another friend piped up "Placebo does it for me, but I'm not sure why"…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
-
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Business expenses: What IT contractors can and cannot claim from HMRC Jan 30 08:44
- April’s umbrella PAYE risk: how contractors’ end-clients are prepping Jan 29 05:45
- How EV tax changes of 2025-2028 add up for contractor limited company directors Jan 28 08:11
- Under the terms he was shackled by, Ray McCann’s Loan Charge Review probably is a fair resolution Jan 27 08:41
- Contractors, a £25million crackdown on rogue company directors is coming Jan 26 05:02
- How to run a contractor limited company — efficiently. Part one: software Jan 22 23:31
- Forget February as an MSC contractor seeking clarity, and maybe forget fairness altogether Jan 22 19:57
- What contractors should take from Honest Payroll Ltd’s failure Jan 21 07:05
- HMRC tax avoidance list ‘proves promoters’ nothing-to-lose mentality’ Jan 20 09:17
- Digital ID won’t be required for Right To Work, but more compulsion looms Jan 19 07:41

Comment