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Please put more jokes here

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    #id
    Two firemen are having sex in a burning building. The Fire Chief runs in and shouts, 'What do you think you're doing?' One fireman sobs, 'Chief, he's dying of smoke inhalation.' The Chief says, ' Then give him mouth to mouth resuscitation, for God's sake!' The fireman replies, 'How do you think this all got started?'

    Comment


      #id
      What do you give donkeys for lunch?



      Half an hour, the same as the camels.
      …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

      Comment


        #id
        What do you call a magical dog?
        A labracadabrador.
        …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

        Comment


          #id
          The days start getting shorter from now on.
          So tomorrow will be Saturda.

          Comment


            #id
            Originally posted by mudskipper View Post
            The days start getting shorter from now on.
            So tomorrow will be Saturda.
            That would make countdown a bit easier as well.
            'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!

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              #id
              Originally posted by northernladuk View Post
              That would make countdown a bit easier as well.
              How many Countdown contestants does it take to change a BULLBIGHT?

              Comment


                #id
                Originally posted by mudskipper View Post
                How many Countdown contestants does it take to change a BULLBIGHT?

                2 top ones and 4 from anywhere else.
                …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

                Comment


                  #id
                  Originally posted by mudskipper View Post
                  How many Countdown contestants does it take to change a BULLBIGHT?
                  A mate of mine had just been hospitalised after taking an 'E'. The security on Countdown don't mess about.
                  'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!

                  Comment


                    #id
                    A mate of mine on Facebook was commenting that he really didn't like The Cure.

                    I replied that I find The Prevention far better

                    Then another friend piped up "Placebo does it for me, but I'm not sure why"
                    …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

                    Comment


                      #id
                      Why did the baker have smelly hands?
                      Because he kneaded a poo.

                      Comment

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