Please put more jokes here

[ladymuck]

I bought a car off Bonnie Tyler last year.

It generally runs OK, but every now and then it falls apart.

[vetran]

My mate just told me sixty jokes in an hour.

He's a laugh a minute.

[vetran]

My girlfriend said to me when I picked her up from work today. "When was the last time you had sex with someone that wasn't me?"
I said, "Before we met."
She smiled. "Aw really? That's so sweet."

"Yes," I replied, "About 20 minutes ago."

[WTFH]

I told my suitcases that there would be no holiday this year. Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage

[xoggoth]

Done, but was in Funny Picture thread so I won't say KUATB.

[vetran]

I think the whole "diversity" thing has gone too far.
I've just had an unsolicited e-mail saying "Black transvestites in your area want to have gay sex with you."

[vetran]

A student has discovered a toothless Dinosaur in Australia.

A Spokesperson said.."We have advised Mr Corbyn to return home as soon as possible."

[vetran]

The Iceman cometh.
He totally ignored my 'No Cold Callers' sign.

[vetran]

My mother has taken up rambling

She has got dementia and does it all day long

[WTFH]

My wife said I was really bad at innuendos, so I gave her two.