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    The Met office are a load of *******...they've issued an orange snow warning for my area tonight.


    I just looked out all excited and it's just white as normal.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      My sense of humour is so dark when it went to America it got shot by police !
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        Just created a social networking site for unmarried women over 30.


        Spinstergram.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          Sex is a lot like clicking your pen: it's fine when you do it, but it's not something someone else wants to hear.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            I got depressed when I lost my job at the Apple factory
            "Have you been taking any tablets?" asked the doctors
            "Yeah. Why do you think I got the sack?"
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              I catch every dinner I eat from my boat. And I'm telling you now, when there's so much at stake, you can't be wasting time.


              It's all about a fish and sea.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                In the summertime, Morten Harket closes his lounge curtains during the day.


                So the sun doesn't always shine on TV.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  I'm not saying SWB is thick.


                  But he thinks Mascarpone is to cover a small horse's face with cheese.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Shaking Stevens has suffered an extraordinary side effect after having the vaccine...
                    He can now sing.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      The arrival of pubic hair means, "Welcome to the prime of your life".


                      The arrival of ear hair means, "Thanks for playing"
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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