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Please put more jokes here

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    Originally posted by NotAllThere View Post
    I don't know. Where are they going?


    I don't know. Where are they going?

    Hey we all make mistakes.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      When I woke up from my operation a nurse was leaning over me and said "you may not feel anything from the waist down."


      So I fondled her tits.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        The wife asked me to pick up a bottle of milk from the Co-op.



        When I got there it was just a wooden hut full of pigeons?
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          My wife asked me to smother her with kisses in bed last night.


          So I drew two x’s on my pillow and held it over her face.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            I woke up this morning to find that I was vegan, thought that black lives matter and believed in God.


            It's amazing...


            what I'll do for a shag.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Originally posted by vetran View Post
              Hey we all make mistakes.
              As the Dalek said, climbing off a dustbin.
              Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

              Comment


                Originally posted by NotAllThere View Post
                As the Dalek said, climbing off a dustbin.
                The 1970s called. They want their joke back.

                Comment


                  not punny

                  1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He ate too much pi.


                  2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it was an optical Aleutian.


                  3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.


                  4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class as a weapon of maths disruption.


                  5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it remains stationery.


                  6. A dog gave birth in the park and was cited for littering.


                  7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.


                  8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


                  9. A hole was found in a nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.


                  10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.


                  11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.


                  12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack. One said: "You stay here; I'll go on a head."


                  13. I wondered why the cricket ball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Carnage in Kilmarnock as nutter stabs nurse then goes on the rampage.


                    Nicola Sturgeon has made a statement blaming the English, Brexit and Covid
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      On Christmas morning, my girlfriend always reminds me that the joy is in the giving.


                      But, if that's true, why is a blow job out of the question?
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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