Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

The wife suggested if I was bored during lockdown, to make a bird table.

Now she's kicking off because I've only put her in fifth place..

[vetran]

I've just been evicted.

Unlike Tiger Woods, I need a place to crash.

[vetran]

Lockdown has been tough for many parents, with their children off school and running riot around the house.

My son's been no trouble at all though - he's been glued to the TV night and day.

No More Nails is such a great invention.

[vetran]

MF

The only thing bigger than a DFS sale.

[vetran]

I have worked for Madame Tussauds for 40 years, and When I retire in 10 years time, I have been promised a miniature bust of me to commemorate my loyal service to the company, but here I go again getting a little head of myself.

[vetran]

Latest news on Tiger Woods, is that he's resting in bed and sedated for precautionary purposes..

Presumably, to stop him trying to shag two of his nurses.

[vetran]

Tiger into the rough

[vetran]

Sheriff said regarding the Tiger Woods crash that there was "no skidmarks".

Have they checked inside his underwear?

[vetran]

Tiger Woods owns a lot of expensive cars.

Now he has a hole in one.

[vetran]

I was a bit like Jesus last Christmas.

I told my colleague at the X-Mas party that I had been banging his wife, and I got Frank incensed.