Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

I got sacked for turning up late, on my first day at work, on the Waltzers.

Anyway, I'm suing for funfair dismissal.

[vetran]

I've decided to respect Harry and Meghan's request for privacy by not watching their Oprah interview.

[vetran]

I’ve just raised £12,000 for the NHS.

I had to park my car overnight at the hospital.

[vetran]

Three friends walk into Pontins an Englishman , Scottishman and a Ir ....... , well that jokes ruined now ....

[vetran]

I shagged a Midget with Coronavirus, and developed short-covid

[vetran]

I phoned Pontins Customer Service and said..
"I've just heard about your discriminatory policies, are you taking the Mick?"
They replied.."Well, we weren't but we are now."

[vetran]

I wonder if Mr. Potatohead is able to mash-turbate?

[vetran]

As i sat there awaiting my covid jab the young nurse said "you might feel a bit of a prick".

I replied, have you heard my jokes love I'm used to it.

[vetran]

The next time Nicola Sturgeon demands a second Indy referendum, just tell her that it already happened & NO won again.

Her memory appears to be so bad that it’ll work.

[vetran]

I have the luck of the Irish.

I'm barred from every Pontin's in the country too.