Please put more jokes here

[LondonManc]

Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"

[vetran]

Music FACT: For security reasons, Kenny Loggins changes his name every 28 days.

[vetran]

For Sale:

Signed photo of Pavarotti with John Lennon's wife.

Tenner ONO.

[vetran]

Sky News "Avon and Somerset Police faced a third night of demos, including a naked woman in her 20s who ran towards them shouting abuse"

A case of getting your Bristols out in Bristol?

[vetran]

I joined a tap dancing class recently.

They seem to have accepted me but I heard they can be very clicky.

[vetran]

Children could be taken away from their parents for being too FAT after judge ruled two overweight teenagers should go into foster care.

Just ordered my little tulip a bucket of KFC.

[vetran]

Prince Harry joins a Think Tank is USA. I thought Meghan did his thinking for him these days

[vetran]

Prince Harry has a job as a chief impact officer.

Just like the copper in charge of his mum's death.

[vetran]

"You're going to have a baby," I said to my patient.

"Can you tell me what it will be?", she asked.

"Yes," I replied, "a really small human."

[vetran]

I've decided not to reopen my hairdressers and get another job, when lockdown is over.

With holidays banned, there's **** all to talk about.