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Please put more jokes here

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    So here is how to work out the governments tier planning.


    Tier 1 Beer


    Tier 2 Beer with chips.


    Tier 3 No beer.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      Sky News - Boris Johnson says "Dont hug and kiss Granny this Christmas"...






      Looks like a lonely Festive period for Wayne Rooney then..
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        Man Utd were so poor in the first 45 minutes, they all had a free school meal delivered in the interval.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          I spend hours walking around Curry's and going through the pages of Argos and Littlewoods admiring cooker tops, my wife says I'm hob-sessed.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Right person the eulogy to do I am?
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Giving my Mum's sister a partial orgasm wasn't as good as I expected.



              It was a bit of an Aunty climax.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                for Xoggy

                I have the body of a man half my age.


                He shouldn't have called me 'Grandad' in the pub the other night.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  My wife’s just completed a 40-week bodybuilding program.


                  It’s a girl, 7lb 4oz.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

                    So I have an uncle, once removed.
                    {emotionless greeting}

                    Three Word Slogan

                    Comment


                      I've just found out my grandad is addicted to Viagra.

                      Nobody is taking it harder than my grandmother.
                      {emotionless greeting}

                      Three Word Slogan

                      Comment

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