Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

So here is how to work out the governments tier planning.


Tier 1 Beer


Tier 2 Beer with chips.


Tier 3 No beer.

[vetran]

Sky News - Boris Johnson says "Dont hug and kiss Granny this Christmas"...






Looks like a lonely Festive period for Wayne Rooney then..

[vetran]

Man Utd were so poor in the first 45 minutes, they all had a free school meal delivered in the interval.

[vetran]

I spend hours walking around Curry's and going through the pages of Argos and Littlewoods admiring cooker tops, my wife says I'm hob-sessed.

[vetran]

Right person the eulogy to do I am?

[vetran]

Giving my Mum's sister a partial orgasm wasn't as good as I expected.



It was a bit of an Aunty climax.

[vetran]

for Xoggy

I have the body of a man half my age.


He shouldn't have called me 'Grandad' in the pub the other night.

[vetran]

My wife’s just completed a 40-week bodybuilding program.


It’s a girl, 7lb 4oz.

[WTFH]

My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

So I have an uncle, once removed.

[WTFH]

I've just found out my grandad is addicted to Viagra.

Nobody is taking it harder than my grandmother.