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Please put more jokes here

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    A priest, an imam and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.

    The rabbit says "I think I might be a type O."
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

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      I was shagging the MILF next door over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, "That's my husband! Quick try the back door!"

      Thinking back, I should have really legged it, but you don't get invites like that every day!
      The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

      Comment


        Originally posted by LondonManc View Post
        A priest, an imam and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.

        The rabbit says "I think I might be a type O."
        AWesome! Will use that on my children to remind them to leave home....

        Comment


          Gone and got myself one of those things today that even an American president can't get.










          A twitter account.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            So Lewis Hamilton gets a knighthood for driving a fast car..


            But when I drive fast I get 3 points and a ******* fine
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              I'm not saying Americans are ******* thick.


              But they have competitions for spelling bee.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                A macaroni, a penne and a spaghetti were drinking wine in a bar one evening.
                They saw a noodle sitting by himself, and discussed inviting him to join them.

                They all agreed he looked cannelloni.
                Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

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                  A drop dead gorgeous blonde at the club said to me, "How about free drinks all night in return for sex?"


                  "Are you sure?,"I asked.


                  "Yes," she smiled.


                  "Because," I said, "I can drink a lot of whisky, you know."
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Wife: " what the **** is this pile of clothes left on the landing"
                    Me:"I struck down a jedi"
                    Wife: "god I ******* hate you"
                    Me: "good use your anger"
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Be careful, If you suddenly start singing Duran Duran or Spandau Ballet songs. If you have, seek medical attention straight away.
                      You have almost certainly been affected by the New Wave.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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