Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

There have been further accusations of racial profiling by Nottinghamshire Police.


The Humboldt Penguin captured in Nottingham last weekend says he was only stopped because he was black.

[WTFH]

I'm not saying I've got a bit used to day drinking while working from home, but my wife has started calling me 'Pablo Deskobar'.

[vetran]

I rolled up a newspaper and hit a black widow with it.



Winnie Mandela was furious

[vetran]

Ex-Manchester United centre-back, Rio Ferdinand, has lost his driving licence for speeding for the 6th time.


You would have thought by now he'd be able to sort out a decent defence.

[vetran]

Reported Missing on BBC 1. The police took an hour to find someone in their helicopter. Standards have slipped.


Anneka Rice used to have to show her bum, solve clues and fit the ad breaks in the same time.

[vetran]

I got poorly from standing too close to the queen.



It's Crownowner virus.

[vetran]

one for Xoggy & Dr Strangelove

Since moving in, I get quite a few of those religious types knocking on the door each week. I used to invite them inside but I really can't any more. The holding pen downstairs is getting rather crowded and cat food isn't getting any cheaper.

[LondonManc]

Diane Abbott has declared that Labour will abolish all passenger vehicles in a bid to rid the country of car-owner virus.

[vetran]

For AtW

What do you get if you cross a spider with a squirrel?

A bug that will run up your leg and eat your nuts!

[LondonManc]

Son: Why is my sister called Teresa?
Dad: Coz your mum loves Easter - it's an anagram.
Son: Thanks Dad
Dad: No problem Alan