Boris Johnson has advised people not to worry about Brexit-related power cuts as they can provide more than enough gaslighting for everyone.
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I certainly made a mistake when I crossed a Cannibal website on the dark web and they somehow got hold of all my personal information.
It cost me an arm and a leg.Comment
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Say no to drugs, say yes to drugs....it doesn’t matter.
If you’re talking to drugs you’re already on themComment
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A little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up. The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. But about every 10 seconds or so he puts the book down, grips onto to the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand.
His mother says: "Billy, are you all right? You've been in here for a while"
Billy says: "I'm fine, mommy…i just haven't gone 'doody' yet."
Mother says: "ok, you can stay here a few more minutes.
But, Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?"
Billy says: "works for ketchup."Comment
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The brain is the most outstanding organ.
It works 24 hours a day, right from birth until your first erection!!!Comment
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I'm fed up with all the tulip about people from Norfolk not caring who they shag.
I'm from Norfolk and I've only ever had sex with one woman.
My mother and my sister.Comment
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Last night, me and my mates went to a Strip Club. One of the guys wanted to impress the rest of us, so he pulled out a £10 note. When the dancer came over to us, he licked the £10 note and stuck it to her bum cheek! Not to be outdone, another mate pulls out a £20 note. He called the dancer back , licks the £20 note, and sticks it to her other bum cheek. In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third mate pulls out a £50 note and calls the dancer over, and licks the £50 note. I'm worried about the way things are going, but fortunately, he just stuck it to one of her bum cheeks again. My relief was short-lived. Seeing the way things are going, the dancer races over to me. Now everyone's attention is focused on me, and the dancer is egging me on to try to top the £50. My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet. What was I to do? The codger in me took over... I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of her bum, grabbed the eighty quid and left!.Comment
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Greta Thunberg has done so much towards saving the planet.
Yes, because every time she comes on the telly, half the planet switch off.Comment
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The removal man cleared my house but left one boxed game on my living room floor.
He said "I'm sorry I have a terrible addiction to board games and have been in recovery for 5 years"
I said "just put this world domination strategy game in your van and we are done"
He replied "I'm sorry I just can't take the Risk"Comment
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We haven't heard a lot recently about the relationship between Boris Johnson (mid 50's) and Carrie Symonds (early 30's)
I for one think it's great that low IQ doesn't get in the way of true love.Comment
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