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Please put more jokes here

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    How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
    A frog says, ‘Ribbit, ribbit’ and a horny toad says, ‘Rub it, rub it.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      I went to the library earlier and asked, “do you have any books on turtles?”
      “Hardback?”
      “Yeah, with little heads and flippers.”
      The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

      Comment


        Andrew Lloyd Webber, 72, will receive an experimental coronavirus vaccine as part of the Oxford trial. As he says he'll 'do anything to get the theatres full again.


        You could try writing some decent musicals.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          “How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit?


          No Brussels.”
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            find myself saying this, proper indoctrination.

            I've got not time for any religion at all.
            I'm glad I'm not a Christian or a Jew or a Muslim.
            But I do thank God that I'm an atheist.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Q: How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?




              A: To get to the other side
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                Meghan Markle saw Prince Charles as a ‘second father’.





                Funnily enough, so did Prince Harry.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Beiruit explosion just shows how badly covid affecting the world





                  Even the terrorists are working from home
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    I’ve decided to dress as a different bread everyday next week.


                    Roll on Monday.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Religion is like broccoli.


                      I don't object to other people liking it, I just don't need it in my life.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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