Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
A frog says, ‘Ribbit, ribbit’ and a horny toad says, ‘Rub it, rub it.

[LondonManc]

I went to the library earlier and asked, “do you have any books on turtles?”
“Hardback?”
“Yeah, with little heads and flippers.”

[vetran]

Andrew Lloyd Webber, 72, will receive an experimental coronavirus vaccine as part of the Oxford trial. As he says he'll 'do anything to get the theatres full again.


You could try writing some decent musicals.

[vetran]

“How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit?


No Brussels.”

[vetran]

find myself saying this, proper indoctrination.

I've got not time for any religion at all.
I'm glad I'm not a Christian or a Jew or a Muslim.
But I do thank God that I'm an atheist.

[vetran]

Q: How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?




A: To get to the other side

[vetran]

Meghan Markle saw Prince Charles as a ‘second father’.





Funnily enough, so did Prince Harry.

[vetran]

Beiruit explosion just shows how badly covid affecting the world





Even the terrorists are working from home

[vetran]

I’ve decided to dress as a different bread everyday next week.


Roll on Monday.

[vetran]

Religion is like broccoli.


I don't object to other people liking it, I just don't need it in my life.