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Please put more jokes here

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    A night with NLyUK!

    Hooker: it’s £70 for sex and blow job
    Me: can we do 69?
    Hooker: No haggling
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      nice idea!

      I've just got my son a flat piece of cardboard for Christmas.


      Although what the daft bastard wants with an ex box I'll never know.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        My wife was one of the trial patients for the new vaccine


        The bad news is she’s been moody, not up for any sex and has a hairy chin and moustache


        Anyway, the good news is there don’t seem to be any side effects to the vaccine
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          I got a political advent calendar.


          It's like a normal advent calendar, but there's a dick in number 10.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            “Knock knock”
            “Who’s there?”
            “I’m vegan”
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              What do mechanics and lesbians have in common?
              Snap-on tools
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                I remember back in the day when I was in school, I could really hold a note!


                It read: “Don’t let this boy in the choir he can’t sing for tulipe.”


                From my Mum.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Why does Mexico never win the Olympics?
                  Because anyone who lives there that knows how to run, jump and swim is already in the US.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    How do you get a nun pregnant?


                    Dress her like a choir boy
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      If Donald Trump is so popular, why did three million dead people vote against him?
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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