Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

A night with NLyUK!

Hooker: it’s £70 for sex and blow job
Me: can we do 69?
Hooker: No haggling

[vetran]

nice idea!

I've just got my son a flat piece of cardboard for Christmas.


Although what the daft bastard wants with an ex box I'll never know.

[vetran]

My wife was one of the trial patients for the new vaccine


The bad news is she’s been moody, not up for any sex and has a hairy chin and moustache


Anyway, the good news is there don’t seem to be any side effects to the vaccine

[vetran]

I got a political advent calendar.


It's like a normal advent calendar, but there's a dick in number 10.

[vetran]

“Knock knock”
“Who’s there?”
“I’m vegan”

[vetran]

What do mechanics and lesbians have in common?
Snap-on tools

[vetran]

I remember back in the day when I was in school, I could really hold a note!


It read: “Don’t let this boy in the choir he can’t sing for tulipe.”


From my Mum.

[vetran]

Why does Mexico never win the Olympics?
Because anyone who lives there that knows how to run, jump and swim is already in the US.

[vetran]

How do you get a nun pregnant?


Dress her like a choir boy

[vetran]

If Donald Trump is so popular, why did three million dead people vote against him?