Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

My mate, Leroy says his missus spends hours talking to the neighbours.


I reminded him that Black wives natter.

[vetran]

The wife was livid when I left her bra on the washing line in the pouring rain.


Anyway, she got over it. Just a storm in a D Cup.

[vetran]

My instructor for an online physics course I'm taking for my Masters just told me off and said I'm not taking it seriously.


Apparently "My wife" is not an appropriate answer for an example of Critical Mass.

[vetran]

for our German speakers

Mineshaft:What a German guy calls his knob.


Minefield:Where a German guy keeps his horse.


Minecraft:A German guys spreadable cheese.


Minesweeper:Jurgen Klopp's centre back.


MineheadGerman blow job


Nineties:A German with no neckwear.

[xoggoth]

There's some funny foreign words. Still recall when I was 16 I hitchhiked round Denmark and going on a trip round a harbour, havnerundfart.

[vetran]

Trumps plan to win the next election.


Execute as many democrat voters as he can.


(It won't matter, their vote will still be counted anyway.)

[vetran]

It’s that time of year when the wise men turn up and offer those three symbolic gifts.


Hands, face, space.

[vetran]

So Mount Etna has erupted in Italy.


Greta Thunberg should of climbed up to the top and shouted down the crater, “How dare you ruin my life“

[vetran]

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, .....Undertaker

[vetran]

John le Carre dies of pneumonia , the Spy who came down with the Cold.