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Please put more jokes here

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    When I applied for shift work, I didn't realise the "F" was silent.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      I knocked on the door to attend a heating breakdown and a barely dressed blonde answered the door, massive tits dropping out of her unfastened negligee and the shaped of her neatly trimmed bush gaping for me to see,


      "Is your husband in miss? " I asked,


      "What do you think? will I not do?" She answered,


      "Err, no, not really, I need the car reversing out of your drive so I can get my van in. " I replied.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        Microsoft have released a festive advent calendar this Christmas.


        No chocolates just a load of flaming updates every time you open your windows.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          Remember the old days when we used to eat cake after someone blew all over it?


          Man, we were wild...
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            If I stood outside Barclays for a week, would it count as a bank holiday?
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              I'm glad no one is telling Covid-19 jokes. That would just be tasteless.
              Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

              Comment


                too true

                Do you know how weird it is being the same age as old people?
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Melania: "Donald. It's Christmas. Would you like to pull a cracker?"


                  Donald: "No way. Last time I did that, I had to pay her $130,000 hush money."
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Five Guys has been bought by a new politically correct American corporation. As of January 1, it will be known as Three White Guys, One Woman, And One Trans-Person Of Color.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      “Two used life jackets and a half inflated dinghy! What kind of Christmas present is that?”


                      It was at that point I realised she wanted me to get her something from Chanel.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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