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Please put more jokes here

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    Have you been on a really old joke archive somewhere?
    Then didn't share the funny ones?
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

    Comment


      Originally posted by LondonManc View Post
      Have you been on a really old joke archive somewhere?
      Then didn't share the funny ones?
      Vetran's are better than the ones you get on the reader's digest site
      I did a stroll around Windsor on 2 Oct for Alzheimer's Society. You can chuck me a few quid here if you like: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/lmallen-1

      Comment


        Originally posted by LondonManc View Post
        Have you been on a really old joke archive somewhere?
        Then didn't share the funny ones?

        You get what you pay for.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          Originally posted by LondonManc View Post
          Have you been on a really old joke archive somewhere?
          Then didn't share the funny ones?
          OK - you do better. (You all mouth and no trousers soft southern tulip).
          Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

          Comment


            I've decided to use a different form of deodorant each day of the week.

            Originally posted by vetran View Post
            Roll on Monday.
            Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

            Comment


              A young man was playing golf on his own. He'd only recently started and wasn't much good at it. He got talking to an elderly man who was much better at it and they went round the course together, with the old chap giving him some useful tips.

              At the 9th green the young guy found himself with a tough shot as there was a tall pine tree right between his ball and the green. The old chap told him "I've been here before, when I was your age, I'd just hit the ball right over the tree" The young guy swung hard and the ball bounced off the tree trunk and hit him on the knee.

              "Ah" said the old bloke. "I suppose when I was your age the tree was only about three feet tall"
              bloggoth

              If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
              John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

              Comment


                Kevin's bossy wife told him to go to the shop and buy organic vegetables. "Just make sure they are organic before you buy them" she insisted.

                Kevin asked the grocer "These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?"

                "No" said the grocer "You'll have to do that yourself"
                bloggoth

                If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
                John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

                Comment


                  3 unemployed factory workers applied for jobs at a large food company. The boss interviewed them all and they got the jobs.

                  A bit later the foreman came by and said he didn't think it had been a good idea to take them on. He'd heard that the first man had snapped for no apparent reason at his last job. The second was said to have cracked up after severe mental stress. He was dubious about the third man who was the father of the other two, maybe these things ran in the family.

                  "It's ok" said the boss "Put them in our Cereal Division, snap, crackle and pop should be fine there"
                  bloggoth

                  If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
                  John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

                  Comment


                    Originally posted by NotAllThere View Post
                    OK - you do better. (You all mouth and no trousers soft southern tulip).
                    Southern? Are you from Scotland?
                    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by NotAllThere View Post
                      I've decided to use a different form of deodorant each day of the week.
                      (Aerosol) Tuesday

                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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