Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

Equality time

Did you know that GJabs is really a well known movie actor?

Apparently he's been in A Few Good Men.

[vetran]

me: how can i come across as smarter to my date?
barman: add ologist to your job title
[later]
date: so what do you do?
me: i'm an unemployedologist

[vetran]

In The News: An 89-year-old pensioner was taken to the wrong house by ambulance and tucked up in a strangers bed.

Meanwhile, Wayne Rooney has made another generous donation to his local ambulance service.

[vetran]

I beat a chess grandmaster with only three moves.

He was tulip at karate.

[xoggoth]

Surprised no jokes about Prince Phillip's funeral Land Rover crashing into a Ford Kia.

[vetran]

Robert De Niro is set to star in a Hollywood epic about the life of Wayne Rooney.

It is called The Old Dear Hunter

[vetran]

A psychiatrist at an institute for the criminally insane is assessing a patient with a Rorschach Test. The first image he shows him is a dot inside a circle. He asked the patient "what do you see"?

The patient says "I see a group of midgets having a gang bang with a Japanese prostitute in school uniform."

Next image the psychiatrist shows him is that of a dot inside a square. The patient says "I see an elderly man with genital herpes 69ing with an unusually flatulent Mexican señorita".

The next image the doctor shows him is a triangle with a dot outside. The patient turns to the psychiatrist and says "what are you some kind of pervert"?

[vetran]

After decades of unsatisfying relationships with women and only enjoying hiring prostitutes I have realised that I am buysexual.

[vetran]

For Xoggy

Nice touch having Prince Philip taken to the church on the back of a Land Rover. I wonder if they’ll have Prince Andrew buried in a 15 year old Escort?

[vetran]

Congratulations to NASA on the success of their first drone flight on Mars.

Although London Heathrow did close down for an hour as a precaution.