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My girlfriend got attacked by a marsupial in Malaysia.
"Kuala Lumpur"?
"No, a kangaroo kicked her up the arse".
"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
Just been for my annual check up with my GP who suggested I need an earring made.
What a strange thing to say..
"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
It's a pity the Big 6 didn't do the Brexit negotiations. Out of Europe in 48 hours.
"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
My computer goes down on me so much I've started calling it Katie Price!
"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
Muslims get lots of tulip but to their credit they always name their firstborn after the worlds greatest boxer.
"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
Caitlyn Jenner is running for California governor! Fair play, that takes some balls
"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
My mate said he wanted to get in shape to get laid.
I said "don't bother, you being egg shaped is the perfect way to get laid"
"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
The insurer Standard Life Aberdeen is to be rebranded Standard Life Abrdn, although it will still be pronounced the same.
I think someone probably dropped a few Es before they came up with that one
"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
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