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Please put more jokes here

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    My girlfriend got attacked by a marsupial in Malaysia.
    "Kuala Lumpur"?
    "No, a kangaroo kicked her up the arse".
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      Just been for my annual check up with my GP who suggested I need an earring made.

      What a strange thing to say..
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        It's a pity the Big 6 didn't do the Brexit negotiations. Out of Europe in 48 hours.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          My computer goes down on me so much I've started calling it Katie Price!
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Muslims get lots of tulip but to their credit they always name their firstborn after the worlds greatest boxer.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Caitlyn Jenner is running for California governor! Fair play, that takes some balls
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                My mate said he wanted to get in shape to get laid.

                I said "don't bother, you being egg shaped is the perfect way to get laid"
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  I woke up this morning and turned on the telly. A TV minister said I had already sinned today. So I turned to my wife's sister and said . . .
                  Last edited by vetran; 24 April 2021, 17:32.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Why does Captain America carry the shield around in a drum bag?

                    Well, it's just a cymbal. (boom, tish).
                    Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

                    Comment


                      The insurer Standard Life Aberdeen is to be rebranded Standard Life Abrdn, although it will still be pronounced the same.

                      I think someone probably dropped a few Es before they came up with that one
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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