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Please put more jokes here

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    Does anyone know what cockney rhyming slang used before Scooby-Doo came along because I haven't got a...
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      I'm in line for a promotion and huge pay rise at the Ministry of Defence where I work, after finally perfecting the invisibility suit.

      Well they think I have, I've just not turned up for three weeks.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        What if porn had commercials. '" Don't bust that nut yet, we'll be right back after a short message about erectile dysfunction'".
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          Who are the most optimistic people in the world ?

          People who eat Cadbury's chocolate , They're glass-and-a half full.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            I have a soft spot for the wife, it's a peat bog just outside Ardross.

            PS Found that while Googling "halfords windscreen wipers"

            ?
            bloggoth

            If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
            John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

            Comment


              Panto quality !

              Working in a stem-cell research laboratory, I’ve just crossed a skunk with a goose, and now have a litter of six for sale.


              Warning: they don’t half honk.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                I've been looking all over the Vagina Museum for my wife but I still can't find her.

                Last thing she said to me was, "I'm going to the clitoris exhibition."
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  If we don't call the Indian Covid strain Vindaflu, is it even worth talking about it?
                  The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

                  Comment


                    Viagra. It won't make you James Bond but it will make you Roger Moore.
                    bloggoth

                    If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
                    John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

                    Comment


                      Do you know my cousin May?
                      No, but I'll bear it in mind.

                      Do you know my Victoria Wood?
                      No, but I'll bear it in mind.

                      Do you know Samuel Pepys?
                      No, but I'll bear it in mind. Next time in the changing room I'll wrap myself in a towel.

                      (Frank Skinner).
                      Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

                      Comment

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