Does anyone know what cockney rhyming slang used before Scooby-Doo came along because I haven't got a...
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Please put more jokes here
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I'm in line for a promotion and huge pay rise at the Ministry of Defence where I work, after finally perfecting the invisibility suit.
Well they think I have, I've just not turned up for three weeks.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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What if porn had commercials. '" Don't bust that nut yet, we'll be right back after a short message about erectile dysfunction'".Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Who are the most optimistic people in the world ?
People who eat Cadbury's chocolate , They're glass-and-a half full.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I have a soft spot for the wife, it's a peat bog just outside Ardross.
PS Found that while Googling "halfords windscreen wipers"
?bloggoth
If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)Comment
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Panto quality !
Working in a stem-cell research laboratory, I’ve just crossed a skunk with a goose, and now have a litter of six for sale.
Warning: they don’t half honk.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I've been looking all over the Vagina Museum for my wife but I still can't find her.
Last thing she said to me was, "I'm going to the clitoris exhibition."Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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If we don't call the Indian Covid strain Vindaflu, is it even worth talking about it?The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't existComment
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Viagra. It won't make you James Bond but it will make you Roger Moore.bloggoth
If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)Comment
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Do you know my cousin May?
No, but I'll bear it in mind.
Do you know my Victoria Wood?
No, but I'll bear it in mind.
Do you know Samuel Pepys?
No, but I'll bear it in mind. Next time in the changing room I'll wrap myself in a towel.
(Frank Skinner).Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!Comment
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