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Please put more jokes here

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    #9321
    James Akaster/Nish Kumar telling Ricky Gervais to be a better comedian is like Diane Abbott telling Steven Hawking to be better at mathematics!
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment

      #9322
      I'm not saying that wartyis ugly but he got a job as Kevin Spacey's personal dresser and Spacey asked him if he minded if they stayed just friends.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment

        #9323
        Kevin Spacey...**** off.

        Coming over here, taking our knobs.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment

          #9324
          I bought an owl with a speech impediment. It didn't bother it at all.

          In fact it couldn't give two hoots.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment

            #9325
            Ray Liotta's dead.

            He's survived by his daughter, Tarka.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment

              #9326
              What a shame that Ray Liotta has died.

              He was a good fella.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment

                #9327
                Click image for larger version Name: 60649-5a2e771e-ce3f-41b1-be01-443b766e8977.jpg Views: 117 Size: 102.9 KB ID: 4219160
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment

                  #9328
                  Norwich have already sold out of season tickets for next season.

                  To be fair, they only have to print one family ticket and then 'everyones' in.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment

                    #9329
                    I'm pretty sober, but I'm even prettier when you're drunk.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment

                      #9330
                      After two unsuccessful sex change operations, Lionel Richie's son finally got it right at the third attempt.

                      Yes, he's once, twice, three times a lady.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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