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Please put more jokes here

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    I just seen Rolf Harris!

    He said "see you later alligator"

    I said "in a while pedophile!"
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      I'm considering a new business venture, it's basically a prostitution service where the hookers arrive in limousines or supercars.

      I'm going to call it the "car fan whorehouse"
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        I'm fed up with the Americans and their drones.









        Why can't they speak proper English?!
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          What do you call a Muslim carpenter? Ahmed a shed
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            I got pulled over by a female police officer. When I rolled down my window to ask what was wrong, she said...

            "NOTHING"
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Originally posted by vetran View Post
              What do you call a Muslim carpenter? Ahmed a shed
              There is a van going around Bradford with that (or Ahmed Ma-shed) on it, and the tag line:

              You've tried the cowboys, now call the Indians
              Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
              I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

              I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

              Comment


                I'm trying to avoid seeing double entendres everywhere. But it's hard. Really hard.
                Last edited by mudskipper; 8 July 2014, 11:25.

                Comment


                  These two crows are sitting on a branch. They got done for attempted murder
                  (\__/)
                  (>'.'<)
                  ("")("") Born to Drink. Forced to Work

                  Comment


                    Originally posted by EternalOptimist View Post
                    These two crows are sitting on a branch. They got done for attempted murder
                    ouch - you don't get anything for a pair!
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      You know you're getting old when:
                      I was watching Babe Station. There was this gorgeous girl in a skimpy little French maid's outfit, pushing a vac around, bending over provocatively. And as her little skirt rode up, exposing her lovely little bottom with the little strip of black material covering her crack, all I could think was:
                      "We used to have a Hoover like that one."
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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